The Crips street gang announced today they will be releasing DeSean Jackson, amidst rumors of possible ties with one of the most troubled and controversial franchises in the NFL, the Washington Redskins.
“We enjoyed our time with Desean. We had a lot of good years together,” said an anonymous Crips member. “But we don’t want his rumored association with such a terrible institution to sully our name. We’re a group that represents intimidation and toughness, and his ties with Washington contradict those values. So it was best to cut ties.”
The announcement came just days after being released from the 10-6 Philadelphia Eagles. Jackson will be joining a Washington Redskins team who finished the 2013 season with a 3-13 record.
“And don’t get me started on the name controversy,” the Crips member added. “While we may be known as a group that commits crimes such as larceny, drug trafficking and murder, we are NOT known as a group that supports racial stereotypes towards Native Americans. How the NFL hasn’t changed the team name or logo is something we here in the Crips are baffled by and discuss frequently.”
The release comes as a shock to many, as Jackson was only 27 years-old, arguably in the prime of his crime committing career.
“I’d like to emphasize this decision was not based on his gang related performance; he excelled in those regards,” stated another Crips member, referring to the wide receivers rumored connections with two murders. “This is STRICTLY about being affiliated with the Washington football team and avoiding such negative influence on our younger members.”
While it’s not known who the Crips will look to sign to replace Jackson, rumors are they’ve been in heavy contact with the Cincinnati Bengals and expect a signing in the near future. - satire - sportspickle